Mom, I don't want to go to kindergarten!

More days pass since our child first entered the kindergarten. And every morning one and the same pattern is repeated: tears are intertwined with requests to stay at home, the toddler cuddles up to his parent and does not want to let him go. Doubts and questions start to appear in your head, are you sure we did the right thing by sending the child to kindergarten? Is the child harmed? Is this normal behavior?

Ladies and gentlemen, reassure: this is a common reaction in children, especially the younger ones. It is perfectly natural for children to miss their parents and their home. The kindergarten is the first important test of independence for them. Each toddler undergoes an adaptation period in its own way, and its length also varies. After a few days, some children happily walk to their teacher's greeting, others take a few weeks to do so. It happens that the toddler, who is satisfied with his stay in the kindergarten, suddenly rebels and demands to stay at home. There can be many reasons for this: a quarrel with a friend, a long absence from kindergarten due to illness, a new home situation, e.g. the departure of dad or the arrival of a new family member in the world. Additionally, some children, after getting to know the place and all the toys, suddenly realize that they are left alone in kindergarten without their parents and manifest their dissatisfaction by crying.

What to do in this situation? First and foremost: keep calm. Children subconsciously sense their parents' emotions. Uncertainty of mum or dad will be an additional stimulus for them to try to negotiate about staying at home. Talk to your child and explain to him why he has to go to kindergarten. Present the positive aspects this situation: meeting new friends, interesting games, nice ladies, interesting extracurricular activities. Bet on short goodbyes and mark when you will come for your baby. Remember that your return will be determined by a specific part of the day, e.g. lunch, brushing your teeth or resting. And always be on timeso as not to lose your child's trust. Make an appointment with the lecturerpre-school calf, maybe together you will find the answer to the question why your toddler is afraid to come to the institution. You can try as well talk to a preschool psychologistOffer your child to take a "talisman" with youwho will help him in difficult times. It can be, for example, a favorite toy or a photo of a parent. Together with your child, think up a goal for going to kindergartene.g. making a drawing for mom or dad, learning a new song, watering a preschool flower. Always speak positively about the ladies and the facility itself. This will strengthen the child's belief that the place is friendly and safe for him. Talk to your toddler about a day in kindergartenbut never try to force it out. Respect if your toddler does not feel like talking. And remember never to compare him with other children, do not mention that Kasia and Hansel, unlike him, never cry - give your child time to adapt to the new place at his pace. 

The period of adaptation is a difficult time not only for the child but also for the parents. If you feel the need you can try to consult other parentsboys who have their kids in kindergarten. Perhaps their stories are similar to yours? Or maybe a mother found a fantastic way to make it easier for her child to find himself in the preschool reality? Such conversations can be a relief to internal fears and anxieties. Try to be more optimistic about the situation, and in a few months you will surely feel proud to see your child bravely and happily marching to kindergarten. 

Anna Watras

educator - early school education
and pre-school

kindergarten's headmaster

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