5 sentences that make it difficult for you to speak effectively with your child
Probably each of us knows the moment when we lose patience and cannot cope with the emotions of a child - this is the moment when we feel that we are about to erupt like a volcano. We present 5 sentences that, in the opinion of psychologists, are not worth using in a conversation with a child.
It often happens that in contact with our children, we say words that we regret later or increase the frustration and anger of both us and our child. It's obvious that we are all entitled to a weaker dayor feeling worse. Therefore, it is not worth being ashamed of.
You should look for solutions that will help you "disarm" your child and his emotions. That is why we present you 5 sentences that make it difficult to effectively talk with your child.
We also suggest alternative messagesthanks to which you will support your child and start modeling his behavior properly our blogwhere you will find much more interesting and useful content.
These texts are worth reading
Before we let you know about messages that hinder effective conversation with your child some useful publications, which will certainly help you understand your children even better and help in their proper upbringing:
1. Instead of "Stop shouting!", You can say, "I can see that you are upset. I will start to listen to you when you speak to me in a calm tone ”.
Thanks to this, we make the child aware that we do not like the fact that he is shouting at us. Remember that you, too, should not reflect the child's behavior and have a raised tone of voice. The most important thing is that repeat the message until the desired effect.
Continue the conversation only when when your baby starts talking to you in a calm tone. Until then, stay with him, support him, offer help in understanding his emotions, but do not continue the conversation.
2. Instead of "I'm ashamed of you," you can say, "I am very sorry when you act like this."
This way the child will know that You also care about his behavior. After all, you play in the same team and you should support each other, especially in moments when the child has behaved inappropriately.
Remember that children only gain experience and learn correct behavior. It is your job to him help to draw correct conclusions from inappropriate behavior.
3. Instead of: "How many more times do I have to tell you this?", You can say: "I noticed that you did not hear what I said the first time. Now I will whisper to you. Will you try to hear me? ”
Thanks to such a solution, first of all we take care of our emotions and do not make us scream. We also shift the child's attention to our message and instead of causing mutual frustration, we propose a common, simple game that should help you communicate.
4. Instead of “You're being rude!” You can say, “Your behavior is inappropriate. What should you do now? ”
Thanks to this, we shift the child's attention not to his person, but to his behavior. Then we ask them to visualize their behavior and find the right solution to improve their behavior. It is very important to educate your child and shape his awareness that he can change his behavior on his own.
5. Instead of saying, "Go to your room now!", You can say, "I will stay with you as long as you need it. Can I help you somehow?"
Thanks to such behavior, you will show understanding for the child's behavior, help him and above all you will provide him with a sense of security. None of us want to feel rejected and unwanted. We all need support, especially in these more difficult moments.
And so you already know 5 sentences that make it difficult for you to effectively talk to your child. Remember! You know your child best and you know what it needs. However, sometimes under the influence of emotions, everyone does not know how to react and needs support.
That's why we're here for you to help.
Patryk Madaliński,
Psychologist, educator
