"Rules"—the word itself sounds a bit stiff, doesn't it? Immediately, we imagine a large sign reading "No running!" or "Do not touch!" Meanwhile, in preschool, rules aren't meant to rob children of their joy in life, but quite the opposite—to support and protect that joy. Rules help children feel safe, know what to expect, and enjoy their childhood to the fullest.
Preschooler's Code - Rules in Preschool
How to implement rules in preschool? Is a preschool code the only way? Not necessarily… private kindergartens in Warsaw, such as bilingual kindergarten Orange Train, rules aren't created on the principal's desk, nor are they the result of teachers studying "secret books on parenting." In our school, rules are born from everyday life. From conversations, shared experiences, and... from all those small (sometimes loud and tear-soaked) situations that happen every day.
We don't have one rigid list tacked to the board in September, binding on all children immediately and forever, regardless of what happens. Rules are living—they change as the children's needs change and as the group's current events change.
For example: If one day the children argue about toys and a chorus of "he took it from me!" resounds in the room - that's when we sit in a circle and think: "What can we do when we really want something and someone else needs it too?", "What can we do so that everyone can play with the toy?"
Or when one child starts screaming very loudly because they want to get attention, and other children cover their ears and ask for silence - this situation becomes a pretext for us to talk: "What can we do to make everyone feel good, even if someone is very emotional?" and "How can we show that we want to say something without screaming?"
It's precisely these natural, "real-life" situations that we use to introduce rules—freshly, in context, when they make sense. This makes the rules at Orange Ciuchcia relatable and real. They're like a shared contract that the children themselves help write. It's not a "demand from above," but a plan of action that makes them feel safe and important.
Rules of conduct in kindergarten – what every preschooler should know
Preschool is a mini version of the world. Here, children learn that not everything happens "just in time," that we don't always get what we want... and that not all adults can "read their minds" like Mom and Dad...
They learn how to speak to be heard, and also that when someone speaks, it is worth listening; that sometimes you have to wait your turn; that you can ask for something instead of taking it; that you can say "no" in a way that doesn't hurt anyone; that disappointment—that someone has chosen different company or activity—can be dealt with in a different way than by getting offended.
Every child learns at their own pace. One child will understand it right away, while another will need 347 repetitions—and that's okay.
At the Orange Train, we strive to support children in this process patiently and mindfully. Instead of saying, "Don't shout!", we ask, "How can you say this in a calm voice so others will hear you?" Instead of "Don't take it!", we say, "What can you say to ask for the toy?"
Thanks to this approach, children learn not only principles, but above all empathy and respect for themselves and others. These are values that are embedded in core curriculum in kindergarten, but also in our everyday work methods in kindergarten, in which we focus on building relationships and learning through experience.
Rules of relationships between children in kindergarten
Relationships in preschool are like putting together a large, colorful puzzle. Each child is a unique piece—different shapes, different colors, different ideas, and different energy. Sometimes these pieces fit together immediately, and the children play together as if they'd known each other forever. But sometimes it takes more time, patience, and several attempts to find the right place for each piece. And that's completely normal.
At Orange Train, we tell children that all emotions are okay—anger, sadness, joy, jealousy. They all provide important information about what we feel and experience. At the same time, how we express them is important.
It's not about not being angry, but about not pushing your friend when you're frustrated. It's not about not crying, but about learning to say, "I'm struggling," or "I need support."
Modeling plays a huge role here, meaning what we, as adults, demonstrate to children through our daily behavior. When we discuss emotions calmly, apologize, and listen patiently, children watch and learn from us every day, even when we think they're busy playing.
That's why we say at the Orange Train: "I see you're upset. Do you want to tell me what happened?" "I understand you're disappointed that your friend didn't want to play now. You can tell him that in a calm voice."
Thanks to this, children begin to see that relationships are not a race, but a shared puzzle in which cooperation and mutual adaptation are what counts, not winning.
Safety rules in kindergarten
Adults often associate the topic of safety with a list of prohibitions and dire warnings. "Don't run, you'll fall!", "Don't climb, you'll fall!", "Don't touch, you'll hurt yourself."
At the Orange Train, we take a completely different approach. Safety guidelines aren't meant to be a scare tactic that robs children of their joy in exploring the world. They're meant to be a gentle safety net that provides confidence and allows them to experience things without fear.
We show children that staying safe is a form of caring—for ourselves and others. That's why we say things like, "Stop, I want you to be safe." "Don't climb here, because this ledge isn't a climbing wall." "We don't throw toys because I want us all to feel safe."
When children understand the meaning, they are more willing to cooperate. They learn that safety rules are designed to allow them to experience new things without fear and with greater confidence.
Preschool rules aren't a tool for raising children who are always "polite," agreeable, and quiet. They're meant to teach them something far more important: how to be themselves in a group, how to say "yes" and "no" respectfully, how to cooperate and sometimes disagree and still be together.
IN Orange Choo Choo kindergartens Every conversation about rules is an opportunity to show your child: "You are important. What you feel matters. And you can express it in a way that is good for both you and others."
AUTHOR:
Joanna Goc-Matyskiel
teacher, Positive Discipline educator, TUS and critical thinking trainer
