Every child uses inappropriate behavior to express their emotions and thoughts, to verbalize their opinions, or to gain attention. Children misbehave when they feel bad. In these moments, they need support from someone who understands them and shows them that emotions can be expressed in a way that doesn't harm them or others.
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Depending on the age of the child, inappropriate behaviour manifests itself in various, probably inexhaustible configurations.
Younger children run away, throw toys, cry, hit, or stomp their feet. Older children, at school age, start to engage more boldly in discussions to emphasize their independence – refusing to do school or household chores, and sometimes they are aggressive – verbally or physically.
We often wonder if children do it consciously?
This likely depends on the child's intentions, awareness of their behavior, and emotional competence. We should remember that a pattern of action is one of the most important elements of working on inappropriate behavior!
It's important for a child to know what to expect when they misbehave, to be prepared for a conversation, and above all, to be able to draw their own conclusions and understand the consequences. It's not about punishments and rewards! It's about conversation and developing the ability to manage emotions in an acceptable way.
How to deal with difficult child behavior in four steps?
Step 1. The most important thing is for your child to be calm when you begin talking about their inappropriate behavior. Only begin when you know your child can focus on talking with you without crying, screaming, or complaining.
Step 2. Ask your child, “What did you think was inappropriate about your behavior?”
Important! When talking to younger children, it is worth first saying what you thought was inappropriate, then ask the child to say in their own words what they should not do because it could hurt others.
Step 3. Continue and ask the question, “How should you behave in this situation?”
Visualizing good behavior is a fundamental factor in helping a child modify their behavior, increasing the likelihood that it will not repeat itself in the future or will repeat itself with less intensity, and the child will be able to react in real time!
Step 4. Ask your child to tell you how they could fix this situation.
First of all, it is important that the child repairs the damage they have caused through their behavior, and at the same time has a chance to forgive themselves. Then they should apologize to people who may have felt wronged. Studies show that children who apologize are more likely to reflect on their behavior!
Remember that the method described is a proposed action that can be modified to suit the child’s personality, age and current needs.
Are you looking for support in your relationship with your child or therapeutic activities?
We invite you to our Psychological and Pedagogical Counseling Center – AURIS Therapy and Diagnosis Center:
509 636 464
kontakt@poradnia-auris.pl
