How to support a child's independence and why is it important?
Should you help your child with everything, or throw them into the deep end? Should you expose yourself to accusations of overprotectiveness or indifference? These are the dilemmas that every parent will face sooner or later. So let's think about how to support independence in a child and why it's so important.
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Is it worth supporting a child’s independence and why?
The answer to the above questions is not simple, especially since the individual development of the child should be taken into account here – it may turn out that for a six-year-old who still has problems establishing relationships with preschool peers, tying shoelaces will be a piece of cake. It seems that overdoing it in any direction is not advisable and the best solution will be a rational method of the golden mean and small steps. Balance, which will make child's independence will become something obvious to him. Nevertheless, let's be honest: if we want our child to adapt efficiently to new surroundings and conditions in the future, we should start working on it as early as possible. developing his independence. This is only one side of the coin, though. The more a child can do, the more his or her self-confidence and self-esteem will increase.
Two-Year-Old's Development – "I Want to Explore the World on My Own"
A two-year-old child is still fully dependent on our care on the one hand, but on the other hand attempts to achieve autonomy and emphasize its distinctiveness. This is the period when a child, sensitive to more and more stimuli, wants to start learning about the world around them. They already have the tools to do this – they can walk, build simple sentences consisting of two or three words, and they like to imitate the behavior of others. It is therefore worth allowing such independent exploration – of course, while remembering to follow basic safety rules. If a child is interested in something during a walk, let them come up and look at the item up close. If they start to pretend and mimic us, let's not show anger, let's just show them our interest. Let them freely scribble on the paper, create their first structures during play, take off their hat after a walk – although from our perspective it may seem trivial, for a young two-year-old these are the first fully independent activities.
Three-Year-Old Development – “Let Me Be Wrong”
The world of a three-year-old is expanding, and so is the list of things a child can do without adult help. Fastening buttons, turning on a tap, spearing food on a fork – all of these are excellent opportunities for our little one to gain an inner conviction about their independence. And let this not discourage us, that buttons are crooked, water is spilled in the bathroom, or clothes are dirty during a meal. If we give the green light to such – still controlled – autonomy, the child's cognitive enthusiasm will grow. It is also worth mentioning that the more a child masters various skills necessary for proper everyday functioning, the it will be easier for him to adapt to kindergarten and have contact with peers.
Four-Year-Old's Development – "I Disagree!"
A four-year-old child already has a rich vocabulary, can interact with both peers and other adults. It is certainly important for them to have clearly defined rules and know what they are allowed to do and what they are not. Let's be ready for different scenarios and moods - sometimes we will encounter a willingness to cooperate, other times we will have to confront rebellion and ostentatious anger. Even when we feel that our relationship is difficult, let's try to leave the child room for independent experiments and further discovery of the world on your own. Let's also remember about the considerable developmental needs of a four-year-old and his/her proper physical development. So let your child go on the slide, climb the ladder and get on the bike. Any scratches or bruises will heal quickly, meanwhile the experiences that a young person will gain at this stage of life, will pay off in the future.
Five-Year-Old Development – “It’s My Job!”
Our child is becoming more and more self-sufficient. There is a good chance that a five-year-old will be able to do without anyone's help when visiting the toilet or brushing teeth. However, it is worth it for his activity it wasn't limited only to such mundane activities. Why not give the child more responsible tasks that will give him a sense of responsibility - for example, let him, at first under our discreet supervision, give the dog dinner or feed the fish. And if we don't have pets at home, you can always ask to water the plants or wipe the counter before a meal. Unless the child sends us signals of clear opposition, certainly at this stage it is worth slowly getting them used to longer separations from us. This will help overcome separation anxiety, even before the first school trip.
Six-Year-Old Child Development – “Trust Me!”
On the Internet, you can easily find videos of six-year-olds successfully calling an ambulance for an unconscious parent. This is of course an extreme case, but it shows that a six-year-old child can already be a completely responsible member of society, even... a hero! Whether he will be - that depends on how we will direct its development and how much independence we allow him. Whether it worries us or not, our child is entering school age. If he has not yet learned to change clothes, take care of his hygiene in the toilet or put on shoes, we expose them to unpleasant situations during contacts with peers and entering a new environment. Even for the most independent child, the transition to school is an extraordinary experience - let's remember this and try to show support in difficult moments, but when the need arises, let's also be able to withdraw discreetly.
How to support a child's independence? That is the question!
How to support a child's independence? This is certainly one of the biggest dilemmas of every parent. Therefore, let us try to support the child in a wise way. and with the maintenance of common sense as a parent. Let's make him feel that in a difficult situation he can always turn to us for help, but let's not take away his sense of responsibility. If we make a little child completely dependent on us, sooner or later it will turn against both him and ourselves.
Do you remember? Toy Story? Imagine that your child has something of Hoodie or Buzz Lightyear. No matter how hard we try, the real discovery of the world begins only when we turn off the light, close the door to the room, and the child will be free from the watchful eye of the parent for a moment.
